Dear reality, Your parallel fantasy is my creation.
I was born in a lower-middle class family, my mom was a Thai-Chinese from a rural area who came to work in the capital and my dad was in an army.
I was raised in the family with southeast-asian and Chinese background surrounded by traditional Theravada-Buddhism and Hinduism rites.At a young age, my mom sent me to a Catholic Private school (popular for the urban middle class) But less than 10% of students in the school were Christian, most of them were Thai-Chinese and muslims.These different ideologies and beliefs made culture a confusing topic in my childhood, but also allow me to see the world from diverse perspectives.
Although I grew up near the end of the cold war, but I didn’t know anything about it until I attended high school. Mainstream media was controlled by government. Most of the informations was one-sided dimensional, such as a pride of Nationality, Religion (Buddhism) and monarchism coated by the patriotic history written during WW2 along with school uniform and student haircut to standardize the ideal of good students.
The reality is that, the children of my generation is actually growing up in a world where the foundation is laid uponby the military government under war time circumstances. This means, nobody should stand out from the “norm”or else you will be frowned upon by the government and the public. The individual freedom of expression is cut down by laws and regulations.I had been told that my country was rich, people are nice and kind.
I had been taught to feel proud in the national identities like flags, symbols, geographic, Pad-Thai even “Tuk Tuk”
I had been deceived to hate a neighboring country because of the wars between the 2 kingdoms, which happened centuries ago.
I had been educated to worship a family by “Royal news” that broadcasts on every evening on every TV channels since I could remember until now .
Those experiences became my muse, that fuel my creativity and my passion.
I have been part of this "Utopia" for my whole life, unable to escape. Arts is my salvation and through them, I was able to bring my own Utopia into existance.